Since childhood, I have believed that there is only one true Devil that all must face up to: Themselves.
I also believe that we must deal with our dark sides every single day, whenever we must make a choice or execute a thought.The hesitation before doing something, giving way to giving up, the persistent negativity about our position in the Present is all the doing of the devil. The dark side, I believe, is a way to balance out your good side, like Yin-Yang.
Consider this: your positive side is constantly fighting with the negative side in a harmonious or perhaps violent manner. Our thoughts, decisions and actions and the way we lead our lives speaks a lot about whose winning the inner war.
Lately, I have been low about certain things. I would hesitate in going for a 2 mile run which take me just about 15 minutes at most just because I felt it was such a drag. I would be thinking of my present situation in life in a very radical way. Let me try to give you a peek into my mind:
I consider the system we are living in to be full of hypocrisy and a double-edged sword, a system full of hard bargains and compromises, a system in which our minds are programmed to think in the way society considers normal, a system where education means getting a degree, a system in which people are ignorant as far as thinking the world is a happy and a peaceful place. And I am against this system.And so when I think of the above, I reflect on how I can do nothing about my situation because I cannot revolt against the system. The system won’t change for me. I can either go along with the system, or take the leap which only few birds do and face the chance of having my wings wounded, falling into the dark abyss of defeat and failure.
So I think about my future 5 years hence, and I see nothing at all. Why? Because I cannot see my future six months down the line even. But, I said to myself, that’s no reason to quit embracing the present. It is not the future that motivates us, but the prospect of getting there in the desired future. And once there, unless the motivation was genuine and involved all positive aspects, removed from the dark side, one would be able to truly live in the Present.
And so today, I told myself, ‘Fuck this bullshit! I am going to go for a run and give it my fucking all’. And that’s what I did. I ran a fast one and half mile in close to 10 minutes. And I felt great after doing that. Not only that, I got down and got some AIESEC work done too and began working on this post as well!
Indecision and hesitation are the greatest weapons employed by my dark side. I am intent on getting over it, so that my inner being is as balanced as a perfect Yin-Yang.
What kind of devil do you deal with?