‘What happened to your hand?’, my friend asked me as he looked at a strip of new skin running along the inside of my wrist, six inches in length.

‘Remember my surgery?’, I respond casually.


The path to recovery after a traumatic ordeal is always challenging- one that teaches you a lot about yourself as a person and those around you.

There are days when I don’t remember the pain. These are usually the days when I don’t do anything. Most of the time however, especially when I am in the midst of my workout, , after a couple of pull ups, I feel the strain on my wrist- a reminder.

Over the past year, I have struggled with hair loss, inability to write my own exams, missing out on things because I could not risk it and being dependent on others for my transport. I could not run for 3 weeks, which was destructive for me considering how often I ran for my mental peace. More than anything, I could not do simple things such as eating, writing and taking a shower that are very much a part of our daily lives.

The red scar has faded now, a shadow of its former vitality- red, pulsing and sensitive(even painful) to touch. I recall the look of my fellow classmates as they saw 18 staple pins in addition to the internal stitches that my hand exhibited. It looked frightening. I thought it looked rather cool. The fact that I have a titanium plate inside my hand does not help. Metal that size is not supposed to be attached to a bone in your body. It is not natural.

Today, one year ago, I had my surgery for Kienbock’s disease, a surgery that was decided in a span of 4 days. I got diagnosed on Thursday and had it carried out on Sunday. It was the quickest, most bizarre thing I have ever instigated.

I look forward to the day when I can have the metal plate removed.

Then, I will only have my scar to remind me of what I’ve been through.


Writer’s Block

And what a huge block it has been. I don’t remember the last time I posted something, or even the last time I wrote a piece of good quality literature.

I don’t know about you, but I really need that dose of inspiration to write again.

I was just going through my site and I read up an old poem ( ) I had written and quite forgotten about it. The feeling of reading one of your old works, especially one that is lost from memory, is great and quite inspiring!

This time as I try to get back to regular posting, I won’t make any promises. I’ll pray however, that I find the inspiration to write consistently.

Until the next time.

Killing Responsibility

Working for an entity with your utmost devotion can be an amazing journey. There is much to learn and new heights to reach. Occasionally though, one may face a hurdle that threatens to not only take toll on your personal time, but also stain the image of the entity you are so devotedly working for. Quite frankly, it is frustrating.

Here’s a brief idea about my situation:

An international intern working at a prestigious institute here left half way through her internship due to some ridiculous personal reason. She had committed to an internship at this institute, with all formalities completed and agreements signed. She was working at the institute on a year-long business visa procured for the sake that she is working with the institute. As it turns out, her whereabouts are currently unknown and is probably doing all she wants to along with her friend, and could be anywhere in the Indian subcontinent, and if anything goes amiss the blame would fall upon the institute. The responsibility falls upon me as well to inform the authorities of this development. Also, the intern is no more answering to any phone calls or text messages.

When I was informed of this problem, the first question that came to my mind was, ‘How can she do that?’.

I think that in the professional world, it is really important to maintain a code of conduct and behave responsibly, especially when you are working and living in another country for a year. You are not only representing your own interests, but the interests of the institute you are working at and the organization/company that has helped you get that internship and the image of your nation as well. Personal problems unless extremely grave give one no reason for absconding like a criminal. I will not mention what problem the intern faced, but it was quite silly if I may say so.

Such situations get me musing about the human nature. Being intellectual beings, does not our intellect be the one governing our actions? Perhaps, sometimes, our emotions and feelings are so powerful and important to us that it often comes in the way of logic, enabling us to be unwise. Yet, even situations involving emotions can be handled with logic and reasoning, and a personal issue is no reason for the killing of responsibility.

Have you ever come across such a situation at your workplace or in your life?

Perception Through Strategy

Perception Through Strategy

How long has it been since you last read a book that has had a profound impact on you and has changed the way you look at your life and the practical aspects to it?

Now, I am talking about one of those self-help books which most people would choose to ignore, deeming it to be exhaustively dull. If you are one of those people, I urge you to continue reading. Until recently,  I was disinterested in books that lent straightforward practical advice. I preferred to experience things and learn out of experience, and I still do. But, The Decision Book has enabled me to examine myself from a whole new perspective!

The book consists of four sections, under which there are varied number of strategic models that help us analyze and address various issues faced by us. These issues are in essence questions that are asked by all of us in our daily lives.

For example, you may ask yourself, ‘Is this project worth an investment?’ or ‘What makes me happy?’ For these questions, various models will help you practically analyze the question and you will be left to decide the next step. What makes these models efficient is that these have been developed through research and used before in time. There is a reason why a book becomes an international bestseller.

One must remember, however, that flipping through the pages like you do for a novel does not do justice to the true potential of this book. You must sit down and work out the models on a sheet of paper, delve into your mind to put down the elements required for a particular model, and then examine the final structure.

This Memory Still Makes Me Smile

Much of my life has been uneventful and disillusioning for me until I passed out of High School and moved into the vile real world. In my country, college life is not very different from that of school, because of which most never experience the world until they complete their education or are motivated by someone or something to make the most of their time. Fortunately for me, I came across AIESEC immediately after High School.

Not a month into AIESEC and I was a part of the key circle responsible for organizing an important conference of the year.

The conference was a success, no doubt. Yet there were many obstacles and immense pressure that was to be dealt with. Three days into the conference and my soul was quite spent. I could no more care for my lack of food and sleep and worked like I had never before. I was silently cursing my ill fate as I continued to work as best as I could, wishing for the time to fly.

Yet, there was this one unforgettable incident  that changed my feeling towards the conference and the organization itself, taking the experience to a whole new level.

The entire day was spent in running about trying to get things done, making sure all the sessions were running smoothly and there was nothing amiss.

All the delegates were in the main plenary. Night had fallen and the plenary was fairly lit. Five Hundred delegates were on their feet, screaming out their respective Local Committee’s role calls after a brilliant session of AIESEC jives. It was my Local Committee that hosted the conference and I watched my fellow members burst forth into our ferocious cheery role call. At the same time, every other delegate also joined in and we had hundreds of people calling out our role call in unison.

I was standing next to my senior watching the delegates when he said to me ‘I can’t believe it still that we have delivered this! Look at what we are delivering here! We have actually succeeded!’

And that moment, my exhausted mind quit ticking and I absorbed the vibrant energy through my eyes. We were one in this conference. Despite being from different cities to whom our loyalties lay, in the end we were heading towards the same vision, appreciating the same collective effort of countless others across the globe.

That’s when I felt that all the effort and the vast amount of planning and preparation did not go in vain. We had achieved our goal. We had delivered one of the best AIESEC conferences ever; A collaborative effort of about 60 individuals at various levels of the conference administration.

I smiled.

‘Yeah. We delivered this… Holy shit! We actually delivered this conference!’, I said, as the realization began to slowly sink in. My colleague laughed as I said that. He could not believe it either. All my grudges against my decision to apply to be a part of the organizing committee vanished and I felt proud to be a part of that experience.

That moment was a turning point in my AIESEC journey. I would have probably quit AIESEC after the conference, had it not been that enlightening moment.